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Happy Guilty-Relief Day

I was trying to think of things I am thankful for, and then I was trying to figure out how to list them. Then I had a sip of coffee.  Then I thought about how thankfulness is innate sometimes, and … Continue reading

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…in which I am obvs an adult and kid is right.

Viv: I want to be a mailman! Me: Really? Viv: Yeah! A MAILMAN! Me: Well, I am sure that’s a fun job. Viv: I will deliver all the mail! Me: Well, I hate to break it to you honey, but … Continue reading

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Short Story: Registry

Title: Registry “It’s not like there’s a Chinese gay kama sutra,” Wei Min says, leafing through the pages in the book. “Seriously, how is that even possible? We invented noodles.” I can’t even look. It doesn’t matter because I have … Continue reading

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Got the phat brew on the reel.

Firstly, let us all take a moment to appreciate the fine lyrical genius of Salt N Pepa’s 1993 masterpiece, “Whatta Man”, the Bechdel-strangling powerhouse ballad performed with nineties flash-paper early Destiny’s Child predecessor, En Vogue: What a man, what a … Continue reading

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Sleepus interruptus.

Scene: fair Verona Amanda’s room, 3:36 am Me: (snore) Vi: (entering) mumble mumble mumble Me: snggegeeegerrgrrg–what? Her: mumble mumble mumble bees. Me: (sits bolt upright) THERE ARE NO BEES. (flops over. back to sleep.) Snggegeeegerrgrr…. Her: Okay…(shuffles back to bed) … Continue reading

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Why You Should Never Hesitate to Write Fandoms You Don’t Know

Amand-r wrote: I CLAIM ALL THE SCARECROW AND MRS. KING FANFIC OUT THERE. Foxy wrote: I want to read Amand-r Scarecrow and Mrs King fic right now. Amand-r wrote: Mrs King pushed her crown back onto her head. “Hurry Scarecrow, … Continue reading

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April, 2011, That Monty Python Spam-Eggs-Spam Skit

It’s not as fun to reenact as you might think. Me: Okay, before you watch this, you must go upstairs and put underpants on under your nightgown. Her: (doing splits and the like all over the carpet) I don’t like … Continue reading

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More conversations with my 4-year-old

It should be noted for posterity that my kid is 6 now, but some of these just have to be documented. Her: Last night I dreamed, no no, I WISHED, for a pink horsey. And I could RIDE it. Me: … Continue reading

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Conversations with a 4-year-old

Me: (as we drive past the overflowing funeral home) Wow, that’s a big viewing. They must have been very well loved. Vstroyer: Is it a party? Me: A little bit. Someone has died, and people are coming to say good … Continue reading

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PROCRASTINATING

THIS IS NOT THE GREATEST COFFEE IN THE WORLD THIS IS JUST A TRIBUTE COULDN’T AFFORD, THE GREATEST COFFEE IN THE WORLD, OH NO THIS IS A TRIBUTE

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