It’s not as fun to reenact as you might think.
Me: Okay, before you watch this, you must go upstairs and put underpants on under your nightgown.
Her: (doing splits and the like all over the carpet) I don’t like underpants.
Me: I don’t recall asking you.
Her: But I don’t need them.
Me: Yeah, you do. Go and get some on.
Her: I don’t like underpants.
Me: This does not bode well for your future. Anyway, you have two choices—go upstairs and put underpants on, or go upstairs and get dressed. Which…now that I think of it, also involves underpants.
Her: I don’t want to wear underpants.
Me: Then you have a problem. Either get dressed or put underpants under your nightgown.
Her: I don’t like underpants. I don’t need them.
Me: Go upstairs and get underpants.
Her: Nah. I don’t want to wear them.
Her: (STOMPS UPSTAIRS, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN)
And now, Radio 4 will explode.